Day 5

So, today was mine and Shelayna's second gym day and first Super Circuit Friday (aka Holy-Crap-My-Shirt-Is-Soaked-In-Sweat-And-I-Didn't-Know-I-Even-HAD-Muscles-There Day) The gym we go to has a 30 minute circuit that we discovered last time and decided to make our Friday tradition. It's a simple enough concept. There are ten weight training machines and then aerobic step things in the middle. There's a traffic light on the wall with a green light and red light. When the light is green you give it all you've got on the machine that you're on and then after a minute it will change to red and you hurry and wipe down the machine and then go to one of the steps in the middle and run up and down it for the next minute and then go to the next machine. So you alternate between the machine and the steps for 30 minutes.
When we got there it was pretty crowded. We couldn't find any treadmills next to each other, but we found a couple ellipticals in the front row. They were two different brands. After pressing buttons for a couple minutes and never getting words to stop scrolling on the screen, I named my machine Chatty Cathy. Our conversation went something like this:
"Well, hi there, new face! Welcome to the gym. My name's Cathy!"
"Oh, well hi there Cathy. Nice to meet ya. I just have about 15 minutes to spend with you, so if you wouldn't mind pulling up the stopwa..."
"Is it a cold day out there? The sun is shining, but it looks cold!"
"Um... Yes. Indeed it is. I'd really like to start my workout now, so if you could just..."
"I was made in China! Have you ever been to China? It's great!"
"Uh, well, can't say I have. Listen Cathy, I don't mean to be rude, but I seriously need you to..."
"Oh! Do you see that guy over there?! I think he's hot. Do you think he's hot?"
"Sigh"
I never did get her to pull up my time. So, we both just went off of Shelayna's machine, who she named Norm. He got right down to business as soon as she got there. We knew that Norm had to really hate living with Cathy. It didn't take long to realize that both of these particular ellipticals had very, um, bouncy personalities. There was a whole lot of vertical movement. This meant that every ounce of fat on me that could bounce was sashaying up and down and sideways like they were each going for their own individual hip hop dance award. Seeing as we had 4 rows of fit people behind us, this was no bueno. I shared this with Shelayna and she said, "We're their inspiration." I just about fell off the machine laughing before I agreed that the gym should be paying us. We decided that we couldn't wait for the day when we were no longer anyone's inspiration, at least not in that way.
After 15 minutes warming up on the ellipticals, we headed for the circuit room. The first machine was one of those where I had to just kinda sit down and start moving different things until I figured out what I was supposed to be doing in it. It was actually pretty cool. It has a restraint that comes down over your shoulders with handles on the front like they have on intense thrill rides. Then you hook your ankles behind a cushioned bar and basically do a crunch, only it's weighted. I was pretty proud of myself on the steps, because I really dug deep and managed to be really jumping on and off those things for the entire circuit, well, okay, for MOST of the circuit. There were a couple times when I was cursing the light to change to red. The highlight of the circuit, though, was probably an elderly fellow who came into the circuit room and was trying to figure out the machines. He was getting it pretty well, until he came to pull down one, where you're supposed to sit down on it, facing forward, and pull the bar down. He was kneeling on it, facing backward, and kinda clanging stuff around with a very confused look on his face. Shelayna and I looked at each other and tried not to laugh. I would have helped him out, but after our last trip to the gym, where we were hit on by a creepy old guy, I'm not so quick to intentionally talk to them.
Last time we were at the gym we also discovered a machine that works your buns until they burrrn. After the circuit, Shelayna informed me that we will be doing those machines every single time. I hadn't even finished the first rep before my glutes cried out in horror that they remember this machine, and they are SO not fans, and just what do I think I'm doing getting on that beast again.
We wrapped things up with 15 minutes on some stationary bikes. Shelayna was still feeling all ambitious and she rode that bad boy like she was in the IronMan competition. I rode mine more like I was giving a bike tour of the neighborhood park to some local geriatrics.
The funny thing about exercising, is it makes you feel like you're already healthy. You truly expect to look different. So when Shelayna and I walked back into the dressing room and caught sight of ourselves in the mirror, we both had the same crash back to earth. Fortunately, we were both there to laugh about it and look forward to the times in the future when we'll look like we feel.
I think I've fallen back in love with exercising. There was one glorious moment today when I was thinking that I wish I could just work out all day.
So please, judge me based on that moment, and not the quivering mass of aches that you'll find in my place tomorrow.