I completed my first 3.5 mile outside run. I did not stop or walk even once. I did slow down to what barely qualifies as a jog at a few points, but, all in all, that was about as legit as I get.
I completed 3.5 miles in 43 minutes. According to my calculations, I was averaging about 4.7 mph. Considering that outside running is more challenging than the treadmill, and the last time I attempted a mile outside, I ended up hurting, I would say that today's endeavor was definitely a success on all accounts.
Since today was a 3.5 mile training day, I used a nifty site that I just found to figure things out. It's www.mapmyrun.com and it is awesome. Another resource for those of you looking to start running, is a group on Facebook called The Couch to 5k Running Plan. It is an excellent place for anyone looking to ease their way into running.
4.28.2011
Day 115
This is the song I've been humming all morning as I've been stretching and waiting for it to warm up enough to go on my first 3.5 mile outside run.
Please resist the short jokes.
Please resist the short jokes.
4.27.2011
Day 114
So, today I was at the dollar store, looking for something completely unrelated, when I stumbled upon a two pack of kites. One was a girl style kite, the other was a boy kite. The first thought that popped into my head was, "Well, that'd make a fun date!" Then I started thinking back to when my last date was. The answer is December. I haven't been on a date yet this year, since I started this whole shindig.
Last year I went out with four different guys. That's an average of one every 3 months. 2012 is not shaping up as well. I've had a few guys that I've thought were going to ask me out, but nothing's happened. I think that one of them was even interrupted right as he was segueing into actually asking me on a date, then he just never picked it back up again.
This begs the question, "Why?" As I pondered on this today, I think I may have finally stumbled upon the answer.
I am the comedic side kick.
All the signs point to this being true. The lead roles are generally unnaturally good looking, although there is usually an attempt made to downplay their looks, so that everyone can relate to them. They have an obstacle to overcome that was thrust upon them, it is extremely rare that the obstacle is of their own creation. They then overcome this obstacle while encountering several smaller setbacks and one large setback. Their love interest is also "hot".
Frequently, the main character has a friend.
The friend is pretty average looking, although they may be chunky, just for laughs. They are quirky, but still extremely likable. They throw out one liners all the time, that keep the audience entertained. Many times they are also the one to provide a random deep insight about a situation.
Everybody likes the sidekick, but nobody ever falls in love with them. They are the one to stand happily on the sidelines and throw rice at every wedding scene. To appease the audience, the movie might end with the side kick bumping into someone who seems well suited for them at the hero's wedding reception. What they never show is what happens after the credits. The side kick goes out with the other odd person on one awkward date, where after they agree to be "friends" and never talk again.
How do I know the last details? Because, I'm telling you, it's my life.
I'm not saying that being the sidekick is a bad thing. I have a lot of fun, and get swept along on some grand adventures.
Now I feel the need to study up on my fellow sidekicks. I think I'll begin with one of my all time favorites: Xander from Buffy.
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."
William Shakespeare
4.26.2011
Day 113
Ran four miles today.
I thought that I would try wearing liner socks under my athletic socks and just skip the duct tape today.
Basically, I was being an insufferable fool, and now I am paying for it in a big way. I literally have a blister growing on top of another blister. I had no idea that was even physiologically possible.
In other news, I am on the hunt for a summer job. My current job with the school district ends in a few weeks.
I've always despised job hunting, but this time it is slightly more difficult. As I've previously mentioned, my co-workers are a level of awesome on par with this man:
And I currently average 5 moments every day that resemble these:
Where on earth am I supposed to go from here?
I thought that I would try wearing liner socks under my athletic socks and just skip the duct tape today.
Basically, I was being an insufferable fool, and now I am paying for it in a big way. I literally have a blister growing on top of another blister. I had no idea that was even physiologically possible.
In other news, I am on the hunt for a summer job. My current job with the school district ends in a few weeks.
I've always despised job hunting, but this time it is slightly more difficult. As I've previously mentioned, my co-workers are a level of awesome on par with this man:
And I currently average 5 moments every day that resemble these:
Where on earth am I supposed to go from here?
4.25.2011
Day 112
Still behind on the days and trying to catch up.
I gained two pounds this week.
I was expecting a gain, but it was still a bit rough seeing it on the scale. The most important part is that I'm right back on track today.
Getting up and exercising after an off day is a hard mental block to overcome.
The bed is so comfortable.
I blew my diet to heck yesterday.
What's one skipped workout?
But the fact is that the more you skip the harder it becomes to go back. So, the workout that you're contemplating not doing is the most important one yet.
I was still really bummed about being back below the ominous 40 pounds, but once again Ben, of http://bendoeslife.tumblr.com/ came through for me. This guy is made of inspiration.
We have a bad day—or a bad couple days
And it pulls us down. Hard.
There have been many times in the past two years of this voyage when I’ve had some very depressed episodes over a few days of eating poorly. Some negative attitudes will occasionally perpetuate themselves—ultra guilt-trips after a couple missed training runs.
A weigh-in or two that doesn’t go the right way. A pound or two gain. Or even the “just a pound” loss.
We beat ourselves up even worse than we did when this was our life.
But it still is our life. And we have to remember that these two or three day binges used to be the norm. Grab our belt and see how many notches we’ve carved out. Step on that scale again and realize how many pounds you’ve shed. Try on that XXXL shirt that used to be a little tight. Now it could be your blanket.
We can’t let the failures of success keep us from trying to be successful. We’ve come too far to let it stop us now.
Justput down the burgerfinish the burger—you deserve it—and then go for that scheduled four-miler today.
Yesterday I wore a dress to church that used to be really snug on me. A girl told me that it's probably time to consider getting a new one because that one is getting really baggy on me.
I'm still winning this war.
Day 111
Helpful thoughts I've had in the last 3 days:
When you work with children, make sure that you cover all of the holes on your head when a child sneezes, or else you might get a very unpleasant surprise. Ears are not exempt from this statement.
Never turn up your headphones loud enough that you don't realize you're humming along in public.
When you need to make a left hand turn, it is not necessary to enter the middle lane three blocks before your intended stop. You are putting the brakes on a Corolla, not a 747. A quarter block landing strip is more than adequate. If you enter the middle lane any earlier than that, you will eventually run into someone and no one is going to think that you are the victim, Mr. Hotshot Pilot.
When teaching a class in church, try to avoid using the term, "hot mess", particularly during a very reverent part. (Don't worry, I'm not criticizing anyone else's teaching style. This cringe-worthy moment was all me.)
Don't wear any items of clothing that you actually care about when you paint the nails of a 3 year old.
Just because you are now an adult does not mean that eating half your own weight in candy will no longer effect your mood.
When seeking assistance with locating a product in a store, try to find someone other than the sweet elderly employee to help you. She just might be hearing impaired and you just might find yourself standing in the middle of Wal-Mart screaming, "I need Midol!" Once you realize what has just happened, you really will need some Midol.
When you work with children, make sure that you cover all of the holes on your head when a child sneezes, or else you might get a very unpleasant surprise. Ears are not exempt from this statement.
Never turn up your headphones loud enough that you don't realize you're humming along in public.
When you need to make a left hand turn, it is not necessary to enter the middle lane three blocks before your intended stop. You are putting the brakes on a Corolla, not a 747. A quarter block landing strip is more than adequate. If you enter the middle lane any earlier than that, you will eventually run into someone and no one is going to think that you are the victim, Mr. Hotshot Pilot.
When teaching a class in church, try to avoid using the term, "hot mess", particularly during a very reverent part. (Don't worry, I'm not criticizing anyone else's teaching style. This cringe-worthy moment was all me.)
Don't wear any items of clothing that you actually care about when you paint the nails of a 3 year old.
Just because you are now an adult does not mean that eating half your own weight in candy will no longer effect your mood.
4.24.2011
Day 110
For as much as I talk, there are times when I simply lack words that do justice to how I feel.
Today, Easter, is one of those days.
I guess that, in a way, it can be summarized in one word:
Grateful
4.23.2011
Day 109
Miles run today: 3
What I will have done by the time I go to sleep tonight:
What I will have done by the time I go to sleep tonight:
- Woke up
- Cleaned the whole house
- Ran 3 miles
- Got showered and ready
- Helped with yard work
- Attempted to entertain a 3 year old
 |
| I painted her nails with purple sparkles. |
 |
| We had a one girl Easter egg hunt. |
 |
| I taught her croquet. Kind of. Every time it was her turn she'd pick up my ball and chuck it out of her way. Then she moved all of the white hoops right next to each other. Then she decided that we didn't actually need the hoops at all, and pulled them all up. She also insisted that we trade mallets every turn. And every turn was her turn. |
- Began my 24 hours off the paved diet path for Easter. I did this by eating a whole Costa Vida sweet pork salad. When I finished, I felt awful. I still feel like I'm bursting at the seams. From now on, on free days, I'm going to make a point of not getting to the point of feeling gross.
- Spent some quality time with the family and Charlton Heston.
 |
| How I will always picture Moses |
- Wrote this blog post
- Finished preparing my lesson for Relief Society tomorrow
- Dyed eggs with my brother
Now that's what I call a good Saturday.
4.22.2011
Day 108
I am feeling the power ballads today. They rock to work out to and are even better to dramatically sing along with in the car.
Have a power balladtastic Friday!
Here's one of my favorites.
You really do have to get into it while singing along for the full effect.
Of course, the best thing about power ballads is how over the top they are. I really wanted to post the literal version of Total Eclipse of the Heart, because it is hilarious. Sadly, it won't let me embed it, so you'll have to click here.
Have a power balladtastic Friday!
Here's one of my favorites.
You really do have to get into it while singing along for the full effect.
Of course, the best thing about power ballads is how over the top they are. I really wanted to post the literal version of Total Eclipse of the Heart, because it is hilarious. Sadly, it won't let me embed it, so you'll have to click here.
4.21.2011
Day 107
Miles run today: 3
Today's run was really, really difficult.
It was the same run, at the same speed, on the same treadmill as I've done several other times now, but this time I hit a wall.
I was going along alright and then all these negative thoughts started creeping into my mind. Seemingly out of nowhere I began to question why on earth I thought I could do this. I thought about my goals, and the fight I've had so far for them and the knowledge that it's not about to get any easier. In fact, it's only going to get harder when I begin training outside. It will feel like a step back. I began to wonder if the other people in the gym were watching me and thinking that I am too fat to be running, or other hurtful things.
At around 1 1/2 miles I felt tears beginning to roll down my face.
The only thing I wanted to do right then was quit.
I don't know how to word this so that it doesn't sound corny, but it comes directly from my heart. I thought about you and everyone else reading my blog. I thought about every person who has taken the time to encourage me. I thought about every person over the last few months who have began taking the steps to improve their health because they see that it is possible. I thought of how disappointed everyone would be if I stopped here.
I came to the realization that I'm not doing this just for myself anymore.
After I came to that realization, I knew that I had to keep on running. I have to finish. By focusing on all of you, and with a little help from The Killers, I made it to 3 miles. In fact, I sped up a couple mph for the last quarter mile.
What I'm getting at is this:
I really could not do this without all of the support and love that I've been receiving.
You've inspired me.
Today's run was really, really difficult.
It was the same run, at the same speed, on the same treadmill as I've done several other times now, but this time I hit a wall.
I was going along alright and then all these negative thoughts started creeping into my mind. Seemingly out of nowhere I began to question why on earth I thought I could do this. I thought about my goals, and the fight I've had so far for them and the knowledge that it's not about to get any easier. In fact, it's only going to get harder when I begin training outside. It will feel like a step back. I began to wonder if the other people in the gym were watching me and thinking that I am too fat to be running, or other hurtful things.
At around 1 1/2 miles I felt tears beginning to roll down my face.
The only thing I wanted to do right then was quit.
I don't know how to word this so that it doesn't sound corny, but it comes directly from my heart. I thought about you and everyone else reading my blog. I thought about every person who has taken the time to encourage me. I thought about every person over the last few months who have began taking the steps to improve their health because they see that it is possible. I thought of how disappointed everyone would be if I stopped here.
I came to the realization that I'm not doing this just for myself anymore.
After I came to that realization, I knew that I had to keep on running. I have to finish. By focusing on all of you, and with a little help from The Killers, I made it to 3 miles. In fact, I sped up a couple mph for the last quarter mile.
What I'm getting at is this:
I really could not do this without all of the support and love that I've been receiving.
You've inspired me.
Thank you.
And again, thank The Killers.
4.20.2011
Day 106
Flashback time!
I spent a great deal of my childhood playing with mine and my friends' toys. I was reminiscing about my favorite toys, today. So, this is for all of my fellow children of the 90's, especially the girls, I hope these bring back some awesome memories.
Just one more Barbie toy. I had this exact Ken doll. He's notable because he was quite possibly my first crush. He got all the ladies at the Barbie Fountain Pool. The other Kens were always the "brothers" or the ones that my friends' Barbies had to settle for when they came over to play.
Those stupid yellow pieces were the worst thing in the world to step on.
The main thing that I remember about Socker Boppers is that we constantly had them taken away because my brother and I would just use them to beat each other senseless.
The fuzzy stripes in the middle of the screen add to the 90's VCR ambiance.
My brother and I each had a Rebound that we took them camping. This was one toy that really lived up to it's hype. Those were the bomb, dude.
We never knew just how many jagged little bumps there were in our backyard until we tried out the Slip N' Slide.
What were your favorite toys as a kid?
I spent a great deal of my childhood playing with mine and my friends' toys. I was reminiscing about my favorite toys, today. So, this is for all of my fellow children of the 90's, especially the girls, I hope these bring back some awesome memories.
 |
| Roger rabbit and spandex shorts under cut-off jeans. Welcome back to the 90's, friends. |
 |
| Apparently, my Barbies' pool was "clothing optional". Also, that fountain lasted all of 3 days. |
Just one more Barbie toy. I had this exact Ken doll. He's notable because he was quite possibly my first crush. He got all the ladies at the Barbie Fountain Pool. The other Kens were always the "brothers" or the ones that my friends' Barbies had to settle for when they came over to play.
Those stupid yellow pieces were the worst thing in the world to step on.
The main thing that I remember about Socker Boppers is that we constantly had them taken away because my brother and I would just use them to beat each other senseless.
The fuzzy stripes in the middle of the screen add to the 90's VCR ambiance.
My brother and I each had a Rebound that we took them camping. This was one toy that really lived up to it's hype. Those were the bomb, dude.
We never knew just how many jagged little bumps there were in our backyard until we tried out the Slip N' Slide.
What were your favorite toys as a kid?
4.19.2011
Day 105
I just finished my first 4 mile run.
It took me just over 50 minutes, but I made it.
I was kind of nervous about this one, because I've been having problems with blisters and side-stitches. Fortunately, I found suggestions for both of them.
As usual, when I need expert advice, I turned to Youtube. I found some videos that recommended standing up straight and breathing into your stomach during distance running. During my run today, there were a few times when my side began to ache. When that happened, I just straightened my shoulders and took deep breaths into my gut. Within a minute or so, the ache would always go away.
As for my blisters, my friend Kelley left a comment on a previous post where he told me, "Try duct tape on your feet where you get blisters...Don't call me crazy, just try it(obviously, let the blister heal first). It's cheaper than mole skin and works the same."
Despite his request, I did think he was a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Duct tape my feet? Surely, he said this in jest. However, I was desperate for a solution. Today, my feet were finally blister-free. Feeling like a fool, I ripped off a couple pieces of duct tape and slapped them onto my arches before my run.
It worked.
This is the part where I offer Kelley my humble apology for thinking that the stress of his impending fatherhood had pushed his brain past it's limit. You and Vikki can expect brownies or something soon, because that suggestion is going to make a huge difference in the long run (Pun intended). I'm thinking that I will be investing in some fancier duct tape, though. Somehow, the silver just looks industrial and ghetto.
It took me just over 50 minutes, but I made it.
I was kind of nervous about this one, because I've been having problems with blisters and side-stitches. Fortunately, I found suggestions for both of them.
As usual, when I need expert advice, I turned to Youtube. I found some videos that recommended standing up straight and breathing into your stomach during distance running. During my run today, there were a few times when my side began to ache. When that happened, I just straightened my shoulders and took deep breaths into my gut. Within a minute or so, the ache would always go away.
As for my blisters, my friend Kelley left a comment on a previous post where he told me, "Try duct tape on your feet where you get blisters...Don't call me crazy, just try it(obviously, let the blister heal first). It's cheaper than mole skin and works the same."
Despite his request, I did think he was a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Duct tape my feet? Surely, he said this in jest. However, I was desperate for a solution. Today, my feet were finally blister-free. Feeling like a fool, I ripped off a couple pieces of duct tape and slapped them onto my arches before my run.
It worked.
This is the part where I offer Kelley my humble apology for thinking that the stress of his impending fatherhood had pushed his brain past it's limit. You and Vikki can expect brownies or something soon, because that suggestion is going to make a huge difference in the long run (Pun intended). I'm thinking that I will be investing in some fancier duct tape, though. Somehow, the silver just looks industrial and ghetto.
 |
| Decisions, decisions... |
4.18.2011
Day 104
Weigh-in: Well, I already spilled a few days early that I lost 2 pounds last week. Turns out that I didn't lose anymore. That's cool, though, because 2 pounds per week is right on course with my goal.
In other news, today I wanted pancakes. I swung by the store on my way home from work and picked up some sugar free syrup. Anyone on a diet needs this. Normal syrup dances around 200 calories per a 1/4 cup serving. The same amount of my sugar free is only 15 calories. I don't believe I need to elaborate further on that point.
After I got home, I flipped through my Hungry Girl cookbooks for a diet pancake recipe. I happened upon one for banana pancakes. I had everything that I needed, and they sounded fantastic, so I went for it.
Between making these and the ark-worthy weather outside, it was inevitable that a certain song would get stuck in my head.
In other news, today I wanted pancakes. I swung by the store on my way home from work and picked up some sugar free syrup. Anyone on a diet needs this. Normal syrup dances around 200 calories per a 1/4 cup serving. The same amount of my sugar free is only 15 calories. I don't believe I need to elaborate further on that point.
After I got home, I flipped through my Hungry Girl cookbooks for a diet pancake recipe. I happened upon one for banana pancakes. I had everything that I needed, and they sounded fantastic, so I went for it.
Between making these and the ark-worthy weather outside, it was inevitable that a certain song would get stuck in my head.
Fab Five Banana Pancake Minis
From Hungry Girl 200 Under 200 Cookbook
1/4 C Whole wheat flour
1/4 C Mashed banana (About 1/2 of a banana)
3 T of Egg Beaters
1 T Light vanilla soymilk (I just used normal milk)
1/4 t Baking powder
1/8 t Vanilla extract
1 no-calorie sweetener packet (A couple teaspoons of Splenda or sugar)
Dash Salt
Dash Cinnamon
That is the original recipe. I doubled it because I was very, very hungry and short on calories for the day.
Mix dry ingredients in medium bowl.
Mix wet ingredients in small bowl.
Mix together well.
Drop 5 small blobs onto a sprayed pan.
Cook over medium heat until they begin to appear solid. Flip and cook for about one more minute.
Serve with sugar free syrup or light whipped cream.
The original recipe makes a respectable serving size for just over 180 calories, not counting syrup. They were just the right thing on this rainy day.
4.17.2011
Day 103
Hello, and a great big welcome to the new week!
This past week I ran a total of 9 miles. This may not sound like a whole lot for a 7 day total, however it is far more than I have ever clocked in one week before in my life.
Speaking of high mileages, my trusty transport reached a new milestone this week, as well.
I was driving a couple of my co-workers home on Friday, when I looked down at my odometer and noticed that it was at 149,999. I was suddenly and terribly excited. I dangerously spent more time staring at the dash than I did at where I was going. I hope the world can forgive me, because this was a momentous occasion! Right as I climbed the hill towards campus, the number switched to 150,000. While my friends did a silent cheer, I let out a holler of celebration.
I feel the need to dedicate this blog post to my loyal companion and friend, Bruce.
Near the beginning of autumn in 2008, my first car, a 1997 Pontiac Grand Prix named Nemo, which I had inherited form my parents, began to go into a downward spiral of health problems. I had to make the painful decision to part with my aging friend. I began the search for new candidates to replace him. While I am fascinated by expensive and sexy cars, I am not too keen to spend big money on, well, anything. I was struggling to find something reliable that my friends would proudly accept a ride in. Then my grandpa offered to let me buy his 2001 Chevy Blazer off of him. I saw a few big advantages to this. The Blazer had been owned by my grandpa for the majority of its life. I knew its history and that my grandpa had kept it well maintained. It had a fold down rear seat, which meant that I would be able to move stuff for myself and friends. Combine that with its four wheel drive, and it would make a great camping vehicle. However, it was still pretty small. This meant that the gas mileage was actually relatively close to my previous car. My grandpa offered it to me for $3000, and I was sold.
This past week I ran a total of 9 miles. This may not sound like a whole lot for a 7 day total, however it is far more than I have ever clocked in one week before in my life.
Speaking of high mileages, my trusty transport reached a new milestone this week, as well.
I was driving a couple of my co-workers home on Friday, when I looked down at my odometer and noticed that it was at 149,999. I was suddenly and terribly excited. I dangerously spent more time staring at the dash than I did at where I was going. I hope the world can forgive me, because this was a momentous occasion! Right as I climbed the hill towards campus, the number switched to 150,000. While my friends did a silent cheer, I let out a holler of celebration.
I feel the need to dedicate this blog post to my loyal companion and friend, Bruce.
Near the beginning of autumn in 2008, my first car, a 1997 Pontiac Grand Prix named Nemo, which I had inherited form my parents, began to go into a downward spiral of health problems. I had to make the painful decision to part with my aging friend. I began the search for new candidates to replace him. While I am fascinated by expensive and sexy cars, I am not too keen to spend big money on, well, anything. I was struggling to find something reliable that my friends would proudly accept a ride in. Then my grandpa offered to let me buy his 2001 Chevy Blazer off of him. I saw a few big advantages to this. The Blazer had been owned by my grandpa for the majority of its life. I knew its history and that my grandpa had kept it well maintained. It had a fold down rear seat, which meant that I would be able to move stuff for myself and friends. Combine that with its four wheel drive, and it would make a great camping vehicle. However, it was still pretty small. This meant that the gas mileage was actually relatively close to my previous car. My grandpa offered it to me for $3000, and I was sold.
 |
| Bruce on our first dirt road adventure |
At the beginning of '09, Bruce moved me and my stuff all the way to Denver. Then, in the summer, he moved me back up to Jackson Hole. He also faithfully drove the two hundred mile trek between there and Logan more times than I can count. He did all of this without incident or complaint.
Then, in the early fall, I decided that it was time to utilize Bruce's camping features. Late one Friday night, Tres and I filled Bruce up with junk food and blankets and drove him up a dark canyon. Once there, we were too scared to actually get out and wander around, so we just locked the doors and settled in. We talked up a storm and the car turned into a sauna. After cracking a window for a minute, it cooled off a bit. Then we rolled the window back up and we fell asleep. It was about 5:30 in the morning, when I awoke to a terrible clanking sound. After a few disoriented moments, I realized the sound was my own teeth chattering. My entire head, as well as one hand that had slipped out from under the blankets, were completely numb. As I lay there, a one woman mosh pit, I also began to experience an over-whelming call of nature. The first rays of sunlight were just sneaking through the fogged up tinted windows, as I turned to look at Tressa. I assumed that she would be staring right back at me, blue lips pleading for help as she sank into a cold abyss. Instead, I discovered her sleeping soundly. Just as I was certain that she had, in fact, died from the cold, she let out a lumberjack worthy snore. I was completely bewildered. This was my friend who was always complaining that it was cold. Her teeth chatter at any temperature below 50. Yet, somehow, she was comfortably sleeping, while I was tortuously conscious. I tried to stay as quiet as possible in my misery, so as not to wake her. I assumed the fetal position under my mountain of blankets and rocked back and forth, hoping that my body heat would accumulate and save me from certain frostbite. What happened instead was that I came close to suffocating before finally creating an air tunnel out from my cave. This undid all of my work. About an hour into my endeavor, my bladder situation could only be described as urgent. I began to try and imagine a happy place in my mind, where I could go and focus on things that did not involve frigid temperatures and impending bodily functions. The problem was that everywhere I constructed in my mind somehow ended up with a water feature.
Mountains? Stream. Beach? Ocean. Park? Fountain.
At almost 7:30, I reached my breaking point.
I whispered Tressa's name.
Nothing.
I gently shook her shoulder.
No response.
I spoke her name right out loud.
Nada.
I jabbed her in the kidneys while practically yelling her name.
I began to wonder if the dead could snore.
In desperation, I flopped on top of her and and let out a choked cry.
She showed signs of life in the form of wincing her eyes and muttering, "Huh?"
I hugged her as my chattering, raspy voice stammered out, "Oh, thank all that is good, you're alive! Please don't hate me, but I've lost all feeling in my extremities, I was sleeping with something about the size of a baseball in the small of my back, I'm absolutely exhausted, there's a kink in my neck, and my bladder is in desperate need of attention. Would you mind too much if we left right this second?"
"Oh. Sure. Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Because I'm a nice person, dangit. Now, hurry up and get in the front seat and buckled up. We're about to set the land speed record out of this forsaken canyon."
The best part is that I kept the bedding in the back of my truck for th rest of the semester. I would go down to the parking lot in between classes and take a nap with Bruce.
He and I have had some really great times.
Happy 150,000 miles, Bruce! Here's hoping that you have that much left in you!
I hugged her as my chattering, raspy voice stammered out, "Oh, thank all that is good, you're alive! Please don't hate me, but I've lost all feeling in my extremities, I was sleeping with something about the size of a baseball in the small of my back, I'm absolutely exhausted, there's a kink in my neck, and my bladder is in desperate need of attention. Would you mind too much if we left right this second?"
"Oh. Sure. Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Because I'm a nice person, dangit. Now, hurry up and get in the front seat and buckled up. We're about to set the land speed record out of this forsaken canyon."
The best part is that I kept the bedding in the back of my truck for th rest of the semester. I would go down to the parking lot in between classes and take a nap with Bruce.
He and I have had some really great times.
Happy 150,000 miles, Bruce! Here's hoping that you have that much left in you!
4.16.2011
Day 102
Yesterday I had the choice between running 2 miles or cross training. I decided that it would be best to give my blistered feet a rest for the day, so i did 30 intense minutes on the stationary bike, instead.
It was a very interesting story, and normally I would have been completely involved in it. As it was last night, I fell asleep about half way through and was startled awake by a screaming African woman at the end of the movie. I got up to turn off my computer and take out my contacts before going back to bed. All together I slept almost 12 hours last night.
Basically, I think I has just reached the point of exhaustion without even recognizing it.
Aside from a scratchy throat, I'm feeling better today. So, now I'm off to run 3 miles and weight train.
After the gym, I went to class. The LDS institute on campus has a speaker come for an hour every Friday. I was sitting in church last Sunday and randomly had the thought that I should go to this week's Friday speaker. I'd been planning on going all week, but I had no idea who the speaker was until I was already in the auditorium. I was shocked to find out that the speaker was going to be a guy that I used to baby-sit for all the time. He and his wife and kids became like a second family to me as a teenager. I'd lost touch and hadn't seen them in years.
I've always had the utmost respect for this man and his wife. They have been an incredible example to me in so many ways. He gave a talk that was exactly what I needed to hear, and really touched my heart. Right after the closing prayer I rushed up to say hi to them. After a lot of smiles and hugs, his wife and I made plans for a lunch date sometime soon.
I really can't put into words how awesome of an experience that was. You're just going to have to trust me.\
About half way through work yesterday, I started noticing my brain short circuiting. I couldn't seem to focus on a single train of thought. That progressed into struggling to form a coherent sentence. By the end of work, I was tripping over every other word that struggled to leave my mouth.
I was one hot mess.
I couldn't help but laugh. I'm fairly certain I added at least five new words to the English language. For the life of me, I could not figure out why I was suddenly such a sad case. After work, I came home and decided to rest for a little bit, while watching a documentary (because that's how nerds relax.). I pulled up God Grew Tired of Us on Netflix, and settled in on my futon.
It was a very interesting story, and normally I would have been completely involved in it. As it was last night, I fell asleep about half way through and was startled awake by a screaming African woman at the end of the movie. I got up to turn off my computer and take out my contacts before going back to bed. All together I slept almost 12 hours last night.
Basically, I think I has just reached the point of exhaustion without even recognizing it.
Aside from a scratchy throat, I'm feeling better today. So, now I'm off to run 3 miles and weight train.
4.14.2011
Day 101
Day 100
So, you remember how yesterday I was all, "Choose to be happy today!" blah, blah blah.
Well, karma is a funny thing.
I was promised a thunderstorm and instead was given this:
 |
| I heard one impressive bit of thunder. Then this. |
I went to get the mail today and found this:
 |
| Smiling teeth of DOOM. I cannot over emphasize my disdain for going to the dentist. |
As I was stretching out for my run, I realized that I have developed man-calves.
 |
| My camera didn't capture the definition very well, but I have a wicked flex line. Curse my bulky Scandinavian heritage! |
Very easily queasy people jump past the next photo!
The curse of the blistering foot arches has returned with a vengeance.
 |
| No bueno. |
The last one in particular has the potential to really get me frustrated. Some of you will remember that I bought a new pair of shoes to fix this very problem. I'm really baffled by the entire predicament. This just seems like an odd place to get blisters. I'm going to try a big ol' band-aid for temporary relief. I'm also considering investing in some nice running socks, with the tighter part around the center. I am wide open to suggestions regarding this.
BUT, I'm still happy at the end of the day.
I completed another three miler this morning, at a decent run this time, with no complications other than the aforementioned lesion. This means that there are now two days marked off of the training chart that resides on my bedroom door.
So, I'm one more step closer to that goal.
Now, it is not weigh-in day, but I have been fighting a private battle with the number "40" over the past couple weeks. I've been flirting with the 40 pound mark, but it just kept on slipping right past my fingers.
Today I stepped on the scale and I had jumped right over 40 to 41 total pounds lost.
Another ten pounds! That means it's time for another official progress photo shoot. I'm still working on getting the official ones to load, but hopefully they will be on here a little later tonight, or tomorrow.
Until then, here's a preview:
All in all, not too shabby of a day, and I'm still happy.
Take that karma.
4.13.2011
Day 99
Some reasons to be happy today:
There is supposed to be a thunderstorm rolling in tonight! I love a good thunder and lightning storm!
Less than three more weeks of classes!
Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine came on while I was driving home. I react to that song very similar to how this child does (From about 2:05 on is my favorite.):
I've got some lingering soreness in my muscles that tells me my body is getting stronger.
I just received a Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie in the mail from Netflix.
I re-discovered my body spray that smells like summer. It's called "Beach Party".
I had the opportunity to walk up and down the hill to class today, and I'm starting to see little green signs of spring.
Choose to be happy today!
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Shakespeare
Day 98
Miles run today: 3
I ran three miles today. When I reached 3.00, I felt as though I could have kept on going.
That was a very good feeling.
Of course, a half hour after I finished, it would have taken a great deal to get me running again. I have blisters on the arches of my feet again. Oh Asics, you have let me down. I'm not completely sure what to do about this, other than to let calluses build up.
Oh, I just cringed.
I already chopped my toenails really short, because they were bothering me while I was running. This is not going to be a pretty summer for my peds.
Tres was in town tonight, so, for the second time in th past week, I went bowling with friends. When I went on Friday I scored a 56. I was looking to redeem myself with some stellar striking tonight. When I showed up I found out that we were doing jellybean bowling. You assign a different way to bowl to each color of jellybeans. Yellow might be to granny it, pink could be to lie down on your stomach and roll it, blue may be to use your non-dominant hand, etc. Before each turn you blindly pick out a jellybean and then do whatever the color dictates. I played that way all the time back in high school, and got pretty good at bowling backwards for awhile. That skill has faded greatly with lack of practice. We played boys vs. girls, and we of the fairer sex were put to shame. The bizarre bowling methods actually seemed to improve some of the men's skills.
Since it was $2 Tuesday, we played one more round, just normally.
I scored a 54.
I think my main problem is that I have no technique whatsoever. Every time I release the ball, it is the equivalent of a Hail Mary pass in football. I just kind of throw it out there and hope for the best.
It's only a matter of time, folks. I'm just that talented.
I ran three miles today. When I reached 3.00, I felt as though I could have kept on going.
That was a very good feeling.
Of course, a half hour after I finished, it would have taken a great deal to get me running again. I have blisters on the arches of my feet again. Oh Asics, you have let me down. I'm not completely sure what to do about this, other than to let calluses build up.
Oh, I just cringed.
I already chopped my toenails really short, because they were bothering me while I was running. This is not going to be a pretty summer for my peds.
Tres was in town tonight, so, for the second time in th past week, I went bowling with friends. When I went on Friday I scored a 56. I was looking to redeem myself with some stellar striking tonight. When I showed up I found out that we were doing jellybean bowling. You assign a different way to bowl to each color of jellybeans. Yellow might be to granny it, pink could be to lie down on your stomach and roll it, blue may be to use your non-dominant hand, etc. Before each turn you blindly pick out a jellybean and then do whatever the color dictates. I played that way all the time back in high school, and got pretty good at bowling backwards for awhile. That skill has faded greatly with lack of practice. We played boys vs. girls, and we of the fairer sex were put to shame. The bizarre bowling methods actually seemed to improve some of the men's skills.
Since it was $2 Tuesday, we played one more round, just normally.
I scored a 54.
I think my main problem is that I have no technique whatsoever. Every time I release the ball, it is the equivalent of a Hail Mary pass in football. I just kind of throw it out there and hope for the best.
It's only a matter of time, folks. I'm just that talented.
4.11.2011
Day 97
I missed a couple days recently, so this is me getting caught up.
I have previously mentioned Ben from bendoeslife.tumblr.com. This guy is truly my hero. He's lost over 120 pounds in just over a year. In that year he has also run marathons and is an Ironman. The guy is a total rockstar in my book. But, apparently even rockstars have days that bring them to posting this:
I've always called runners crazy. It just seemed stupid to inflict that kind of torture on yourself.
I think that I'm beginning to lose my mind, because I'm starting to understand. I'm ready to face the pain in order to gain the accomplishment that comes with it.
All the same, if I ever end up having to resort to a "walk/ lie down routine" and a 20 minute nap during my run, someone should tell me to take it easy for awhile.
I have previously mentioned Ben from bendoeslife.tumblr.com. This guy is truly my hero. He's lost over 120 pounds in just over a year. In that year he has also run marathons and is an Ironman. The guy is a total rockstar in my book. But, apparently even rockstars have days that bring them to posting this:
17 miles done. AKA: worst day of my life.
I've always called runners crazy. It just seemed stupid to inflict that kind of torture on yourself.
I think that I'm beginning to lose my mind, because I'm starting to understand. I'm ready to face the pain in order to gain the accomplishment that comes with it.
All the same, if I ever end up having to resort to a "walk/ lie down routine" and a 20 minute nap during my run, someone should tell me to take it easy for awhile.
Day 96
Calories burned at the gym today: 485
This morning I stepped on the scale for my weekly weigh-in. I was up two pounds from last week. I was not in the mood for that this morning, so before eating breakfast I went to the gym and did my workout. Then I came home and weighed myself again. I was a pound less. Then I ate breakfast.
Some may call this manipulating the results, but those people have obviously never fought an epic battle with the scale. So deal with it. That number is about to start dropping like it's hot.
I found a half-marathon training schedule that I like off of this site. There are more legit looking sites out there without the kind of creepy old guy on them, but this man seems to really know what he's talking about, and I just like this plan the best.
I already went in and tweaked the order of the days at the top so that it fits my schedule better, and I will have to make some more changes as I go, to adjust for race dates and such, but that is that basic outline for what I am about to begin. I'm going to have about two extra weeks of training, so I'll just go back and repeat a couple weeks somewhere in there. When it says "cross", it means "cross training". On those days I'll do biking or the elliptical.
I am pretty excited.
I saw this comic in the paper today. I dedicate it to all of my fellow bloggers.
This gives me an idea for a new advertising campaign...
"Congrats! You are currently losing approximately half a pound! Come celebrate weight lost at stephshundred.blogspot.com"
Naw.
Too wordy.
This morning I stepped on the scale for my weekly weigh-in. I was up two pounds from last week. I was not in the mood for that this morning, so before eating breakfast I went to the gym and did my workout. Then I came home and weighed myself again. I was a pound less. Then I ate breakfast.
Some may call this manipulating the results, but those people have obviously never fought an epic battle with the scale. So deal with it. That number is about to start dropping like it's hot.
I found a half-marathon training schedule that I like off of this site. There are more legit looking sites out there without the kind of creepy old guy on them, but this man seems to really know what he's talking about, and I just like this plan the best.
Week
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Sun
Mon
Tue
1
Stretch
Strengthen
3 m run
2 m run or cross
3 m run +
strength
Rest
30 min
cross
4 m run
2
Stretch
Strengthen
3 m run
2 m run or cross
3 m run +
strength
Rest
30 min
cross
4 m run
3
Stretch
Strengthen
3.5 m run
2 m run or cross
3.5 m run +
strength
Rest
40 min
cross
5 m run
4
Stretch
Strengthen
3.5 m run
2 m run or cross
3.5 m run +
strength
Rest
40 min
cross
5 m run
5
Stretch
Strengthen
4 m run
2 m run or cross
4 m run +
strength
Rest
40 min
cross
6 m run
6
Stretch
Strengthen
4 m run
2 m run or cross
4 m run +
strength
Rest or easy run
Rest
5-K Race
7
Stretch
Strengthen
4.5 m run
3 m run or cross
4.5 m run +
strength
Rest
50 min
cross
7 m run
8
Stretch
Strengthen
4.5 m run
3 m run or cross
4.5 m run +
strength
Rest
50 min
cross
8 m run
9
Stretch
Strengthen
5 m run
3 m run or cross
5 m run +
strength
Rest or easy run
Rest
10-K Race
10
Stretch
Strengthen
5 m run
3 m run or cross
5 m run +
strength
Rest
60 min cross
9 m run
11
Stretch
Strengthen
5 m run
3 m run or cross
5 m run +
strength
Rest
60 min cross
10 m run
12
Stretch &
Strengthen
4 m run
3 m run or cross
2 m run
Rest
Rest
Half Marathon
I already went in and tweaked the order of the days at the top so that it fits my schedule better, and I will have to make some more changes as I go, to adjust for race dates and such, but that is that basic outline for what I am about to begin. I'm going to have about two extra weeks of training, so I'll just go back and repeat a couple weeks somewhere in there. When it says "cross", it means "cross training". On those days I'll do biking or the elliptical.
I am pretty excited.
I saw this comic in the paper today. I dedicate it to all of my fellow bloggers.
This gives me an idea for a new advertising campaign...
"Congrats! You are currently losing approximately half a pound! Come celebrate weight lost at stephshundred.blogspot.com"
Naw.
Too wordy.
4.10.2011
Day 95
Danger is my middle name.
Well, alright, I don't actually have a middle name. And if I did, it would probably be more along the lines of "Blunder", or "Oblivious".
I do not make a habit of intentionally putting myself into dangerous situations. Until fairly recently, I have done everything I could to avoid risky behavior.
Once upon a time as a teen at girl's camp, we went repelling. As the instructor stood with us at the top of the cliff and asked for a first volunteer, I had an identity crisis, and was momentarily convinced that I was a fearless young woman who could show all the of my peers what it meant to be brave as I joyfully frolicked down the side of the cliff. After harnessing up and getting a good look off of the ledge, my self-awareness returned at a breathtaking speed. It must have shown on my face, because the instructor looked at me and asked if I was sure I wanted to do this. Turning my eyes back to the rest of the young women from the stake I had just moved into, I knew that I had no choice. To save face I would have to suck it up and quickly get this over with. So it was that the one woman earthquake made her way over the side of the cliff and gingerly began her decent. Then, about half way down, I put my foot on a rock that gave way underneath me. I was firmly secured by the rope and harness, so I just regained my footing and it was no big deal, but it was enough to crack what fragile remnant of composure I had left. Paralyzed with terror, I pressed myself to the cliff and could not seem to make myself move any further. Cries of encouragement began to ring through the canyon, as the young women all joined in to try and grant me courage enough to find my way to the bottom. However, all that this accomplished was making me aware that I truly had everyone's attention in my moment of personal crisis. So I started crying. Eventually, and ever so slowly, I made my way to the bottom. I grabbed a water and went over to a tree to pull myself back together. I felt a heavy weight of shame as I watched the rest of the girls gracefully bound down the side of the cliff. I was reminded that I should always be the girl to go last with stuff like this.
In the last few years, I've decided that taking measured risks can be a good thing. I try to partake in activites that give me the illusion of being in peril, while actually being quite safe. Whitewater rafting is one of my favorite things to do.
I'll jump on any legit roller-coaster you can throw my way. Given the opportunity, I'd love to try repelling again. There are only a few things that I absolutely won't do, cliff diving being one of them, thanks to the opening scene of A Walk to Remember.
My problem is that I usually don't knowingly walk into a dangerous situation. I'm far more likely to suddenly realize I'm already in the middle of one.
A prime example of this happened my first summer up in Jackson Hole.
We didn't get off of work until about ten o'clock most nights, so usually it was too late to really go out and do anything. Then, one night, a group decided to take a midnight hike up in the Tetons. This sounded like fun to me, so I swapped my cowboy boots for hiking boots, and hopped in the car. I thought that there were more people going, but after I was in the car I found out that it was only going to be the five of us.
I'd been on a night hike before, but as we were driving up toward the park, it occurred to me that my previous night hike had been in Logan Canyon, where the mountain lions are usually shy and the most dangerous thing you are likely to encounter is a skunk. The hike I was about to embark on was in the Tetons, where there are a greater abundance of predatory animals who may see humans as just another link in the food chain. However, I re-assured myself that most of the big predators avoided main trails, so we should be fine.
The first thing I noticed as we pulled into the parking lot, were all of the construction crews doing work right around the trail-head. The second thing I noticed was the trail-head itself. My parents had been up the past weekend and had gone hiking. As I read the name of trail, I was struck with the horrific realization that my parents had been on this very hike and seen a grizzly just a few days before we pulled up for our midnight excursion. I had a vision of a scene like unto this:
Only, I would not be mistaken for a bear cub.
Oh, no. I would be mauled and then eaten.
I voiced my concerns, but my co-workers brushed them off and told me that I could wait in the car if I wanted. I sat for a moment to contemplate my options. Staring out at all of the construction workers in the dark, and remembering all of my mom's warnings and stories about things that happen to girls who hang out with creepy men in parking lots, I finally decided that I would take my chances with the bears. However, I was not going to relinquish my flashlight, which was one of two in the group. My friend, Ashlee, was almost as jumpy as me, so she got the other one. The rest said the moon was full enough that they were totally fine without them.
As we started out, I was riffling through the file in my brain marked, "Bear Safety". Having spent a good amount of my childhood hiking up in Yellowstone, this file was actually fairly sizable. I quickly threw out the card about not hiking in the dark through known bear country, and continued on in search of something useful in my current predicament. What I remembered was that bears will usually try to avoid humans if at all possible. They tend to attack when they are surprised and feel threatened. I knew that they sold sleigh bells in the parks that you could tie to yourself while hiking, so the bears could hear you coming. I did not have musical devices on me of any kind. But I did have my voice. I started out just talking as loud as possible. When I ran out of topics to keep the conversation flowing, I switched to singing old girls camp songs at the top of my lungs. When I ran out of those I switched to classic rock. By about halfway through Bohemian Rhapsody, the three without flashlights had sped up to get away from me. I was fine by this, because now they would be the ones to sneak up on a cantankerous grizzly, and hearing their screams ahead, I would know to turn tail and run.
Thanks mostly to my singing, I'm sure, we did not get attacked by a bear on our way to the lake. Or, at least, where they told me a lake was. I could only see black.
By this point, Ashlee and I were more than ready to get gone. We tried to talk the others into leaving, but none of them seemed in a hurry, so we told them we'd see them back at the car. They said something along the lines of "Whatever", and Ashlee and I took off at steady jog, screaming a conversation about nothing in particular. It took us awhile to remember that we had both of the flashlights. We stood still for a few minutes, but both of us were feeling extremely uncomfortable, and the others weren't responding to our screams, so we went on, reasoning that they had gone ahead of us and our flashlights on the way there, so they could do without us on the way back. We made it back to the car, where the construction workers ignored us. We were thrilled to be out of the woods, but we didn't have the keys, so we just huddled next to the car.
Well, alright, I don't actually have a middle name. And if I did, it would probably be more along the lines of "Blunder", or "Oblivious".
I do not make a habit of intentionally putting myself into dangerous situations. Until fairly recently, I have done everything I could to avoid risky behavior.
Once upon a time as a teen at girl's camp, we went repelling. As the instructor stood with us at the top of the cliff and asked for a first volunteer, I had an identity crisis, and was momentarily convinced that I was a fearless young woman who could show all the of my peers what it meant to be brave as I joyfully frolicked down the side of the cliff. After harnessing up and getting a good look off of the ledge, my self-awareness returned at a breathtaking speed. It must have shown on my face, because the instructor looked at me and asked if I was sure I wanted to do this. Turning my eyes back to the rest of the young women from the stake I had just moved into, I knew that I had no choice. To save face I would have to suck it up and quickly get this over with. So it was that the one woman earthquake made her way over the side of the cliff and gingerly began her decent. Then, about half way down, I put my foot on a rock that gave way underneath me. I was firmly secured by the rope and harness, so I just regained my footing and it was no big deal, but it was enough to crack what fragile remnant of composure I had left. Paralyzed with terror, I pressed myself to the cliff and could not seem to make myself move any further. Cries of encouragement began to ring through the canyon, as the young women all joined in to try and grant me courage enough to find my way to the bottom. However, all that this accomplished was making me aware that I truly had everyone's attention in my moment of personal crisis. So I started crying. Eventually, and ever so slowly, I made my way to the bottom. I grabbed a water and went over to a tree to pull myself back together. I felt a heavy weight of shame as I watched the rest of the girls gracefully bound down the side of the cliff. I was reminded that I should always be the girl to go last with stuff like this.
In the last few years, I've decided that taking measured risks can be a good thing. I try to partake in activites that give me the illusion of being in peril, while actually being quite safe. Whitewater rafting is one of my favorite things to do.
 |
| See, that's the face of courage right th... Oh, wait. Wrong picture. |
 |
| Here we go! By my third trip, I was handling it like a champ. |
I'll jump on any legit roller-coaster you can throw my way. Given the opportunity, I'd love to try repelling again. There are only a few things that I absolutely won't do, cliff diving being one of them, thanks to the opening scene of A Walk to Remember.
My problem is that I usually don't knowingly walk into a dangerous situation. I'm far more likely to suddenly realize I'm already in the middle of one.
A prime example of this happened my first summer up in Jackson Hole.
We didn't get off of work until about ten o'clock most nights, so usually it was too late to really go out and do anything. Then, one night, a group decided to take a midnight hike up in the Tetons. This sounded like fun to me, so I swapped my cowboy boots for hiking boots, and hopped in the car. I thought that there were more people going, but after I was in the car I found out that it was only going to be the five of us.
I'd been on a night hike before, but as we were driving up toward the park, it occurred to me that my previous night hike had been in Logan Canyon, where the mountain lions are usually shy and the most dangerous thing you are likely to encounter is a skunk. The hike I was about to embark on was in the Tetons, where there are a greater abundance of predatory animals who may see humans as just another link in the food chain. However, I re-assured myself that most of the big predators avoided main trails, so we should be fine.
The first thing I noticed as we pulled into the parking lot, were all of the construction crews doing work right around the trail-head. The second thing I noticed was the trail-head itself. My parents had been up the past weekend and had gone hiking. As I read the name of trail, I was struck with the horrific realization that my parents had been on this very hike and seen a grizzly just a few days before we pulled up for our midnight excursion. I had a vision of a scene like unto this:
Only, I would not be mistaken for a bear cub.
Oh, no. I would be mauled and then eaten.
I voiced my concerns, but my co-workers brushed them off and told me that I could wait in the car if I wanted. I sat for a moment to contemplate my options. Staring out at all of the construction workers in the dark, and remembering all of my mom's warnings and stories about things that happen to girls who hang out with creepy men in parking lots, I finally decided that I would take my chances with the bears. However, I was not going to relinquish my flashlight, which was one of two in the group. My friend, Ashlee, was almost as jumpy as me, so she got the other one. The rest said the moon was full enough that they were totally fine without them.
As we started out, I was riffling through the file in my brain marked, "Bear Safety". Having spent a good amount of my childhood hiking up in Yellowstone, this file was actually fairly sizable. I quickly threw out the card about not hiking in the dark through known bear country, and continued on in search of something useful in my current predicament. What I remembered was that bears will usually try to avoid humans if at all possible. They tend to attack when they are surprised and feel threatened. I knew that they sold sleigh bells in the parks that you could tie to yourself while hiking, so the bears could hear you coming. I did not have musical devices on me of any kind. But I did have my voice. I started out just talking as loud as possible. When I ran out of topics to keep the conversation flowing, I switched to singing old girls camp songs at the top of my lungs. When I ran out of those I switched to classic rock. By about halfway through Bohemian Rhapsody, the three without flashlights had sped up to get away from me. I was fine by this, because now they would be the ones to sneak up on a cantankerous grizzly, and hearing their screams ahead, I would know to turn tail and run.
Thanks mostly to my singing, I'm sure, we did not get attacked by a bear on our way to the lake. Or, at least, where they told me a lake was. I could only see black.
 |
| There is probably a bear right beyond where the flash reached for this photo op at the "lake". |
By this point, Ashlee and I were more than ready to get gone. We tried to talk the others into leaving, but none of them seemed in a hurry, so we told them we'd see them back at the car. They said something along the lines of "Whatever", and Ashlee and I took off at steady jog, screaming a conversation about nothing in particular. It took us awhile to remember that we had both of the flashlights. We stood still for a few minutes, but both of us were feeling extremely uncomfortable, and the others weren't responding to our screams, so we went on, reasoning that they had gone ahead of us and our flashlights on the way there, so they could do without us on the way back. We made it back to the car, where the construction workers ignored us. We were thrilled to be out of the woods, but we didn't have the keys, so we just huddled next to the car.
Exactly 38 minutes later, the others arrived, none too pleased with us leaving them. But, I didn't even care that I had made some enemies. I was getting into a car with all of my limbs intact and going back to my warm bed, that, last time I checked, was free of bears.
And that's the story of the time I went on a hike in the dark and didn't see a single bear.
But I felt dangerous as sin, and that's what really matters.
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