When seeking assistance with locating a product in a store, try to find someone other than the sweet elderly employee to help you. She just might be hearing impaired and you just might find yourself standing in the middle of Wal-Mart screaming, "I need Midol!" Once you realize what has just happened, you really will need some Midol.
When you work with children, make sure that you cover all of the holes on your head when a child sneezes, or else you might get a very unpleasant surprise. Ears are not exempt from this statement.
Never turn up your headphones loud enough that you don't realize you're humming along in public.
When you need to make a left hand turn, it is not necessary to enter the middle lane three blocks before your intended stop. You are putting the brakes on a Corolla, not a 747. A quarter block landing strip is more than adequate. If you enter the middle lane any earlier than that, you will eventually run into someone and no one is going to think that you are the victim, Mr. Hotshot Pilot.
When teaching a class in church, try to avoid using the term, "hot mess", particularly during a very reverent part. (Don't worry, I'm not criticizing anyone else's teaching style. This cringe-worthy moment was all me.)
Don't wear any items of clothing that you actually care about when you paint the nails of a 3 year old.
Just because you are now an adult does not mean that eating half your own weight in candy will no longer effect your mood.
Lol. That's awesome! I especially liked the headphones comment. You see, my problem isn't that the volume is to high, it's that humming and singing is a habit for me so I no longer realize when I'm doing it. That also goes for dancing along...
ReplyDeleteBAHAHAHAHAHAHA I am totally laughing out loud to your 'hot mess' comment!
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