Day 114

So, today I was at the dollar store, looking for something completely unrelated, when I stumbled upon a two pack of kites. One was a girl style kite, the other was a boy kite. The first thought that popped into my head was, "Well, that'd make a fun date!" Then I started thinking back to when my last date was. The answer is December. I haven't been on a date yet this year, since I started this whole shindig.

Last year I went out with four different guys. That's an average of one every 3 months. 2012 is not shaping up as well. I've had a few guys that I've thought were going to ask me out, but nothing's happened. I think that one of them was even interrupted right as he was segueing into actually asking me on a date, then he just never picked it back up again.

This begs the question, "Why?" As I pondered on this today, I think I may have finally stumbled upon the answer.

I am the comedic side kick.

All the signs point to this being true. The lead roles are generally unnaturally good looking, although there is usually an attempt made to downplay their looks, so that everyone can relate to them. They have an obstacle to overcome that was thrust upon them, it is extremely rare that the obstacle is of their own creation. They then overcome this obstacle while encountering several smaller setbacks and one large setback. Their love interest is also "hot".

Frequently, the main character has a friend.

The friend is pretty average looking, although they may be chunky, just for laughs. They are quirky, but still extremely likable. They throw out one liners all the time, that keep the audience entertained. Many times they are also the one to provide a random deep insight about a situation.

Everybody likes the sidekick, but nobody ever falls in love with them. They are the one to stand happily on the sidelines and throw rice at every wedding scene. To appease the audience, the movie might end with the side kick bumping into someone who seems well suited for them at the hero's wedding reception. What they never show is what happens after the credits. The side kick goes out with the other odd person on one awkward date, where after they agree to be "friends" and never talk again.

How do I know the last details? Because, I'm telling you, it's my life.

I'm not saying that being the sidekick is a bad thing. I have a lot of fun, and get swept along on some grand adventures.

Now I feel the need to study up on my fellow sidekicks. I think I'll begin with one of my all time favorites: Xander from Buffy.

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."

William Shakespeare