Day 58

Calories burned at the gym this morning: 662

To start off, I must first recognize that everyone's favorite hair-boy is reaching a milestone today. This is an epic day, indeed friends. As the girls at the elementary school that I work at were ecstatic to inform me, it has been 17 years since the world has been blessed with the presence of a uniquely gifted individual. The person I speak of is, of course, Justice Beaver.

The gym has a whole bunch of TVs hanging from the ceiling. You can plug your headphones into a little box on your cardio machine of choice and listen to whichever show you want. One of these TVs is always tuned into the Travel Channel. I don't watch a ton of cable, but, unless I'm mistaken, shouldn't the Travel Channel show, I don't know, people just traveling or show places to travel to. And shouldn't these destinations occasionally include places that don't involve gluttony of biblical proportions? Every time I've been at the gym they have been touring candy factories and eating burgers larger than a couple small children. There are also usually some infomercials for weight loss gadgets and pills on the TVs on either side of the Gullet Stuffers TV. The infomercials are panning in between shots of various scantily clad people who range from anorexic to steroid-poppin'. One infomercial spends a lot of time focused in on the torso of these models, dripping as though they have just had a bad encounter with a fire hydrant. I think it's supposed to be sweat, but if my chubby, perspiring self fails to produce that amount of moisture after a couple hours giving it my all at the gym, then there is just no way that a healthy woman would be drowning in a pool of her own sweat after just one workout video. The interesting thing is, I've noticed that the Gorging Channel is the one that gets me more motivated. When I'm watching somebody down some huge, greasy concoction, I instinctively push myself harder because I actually feel as though I am getting somehow fatter by watching these people. The wet and sexy people do nothing for me. Well, scratch that, some of the men do something for me, but they don't make me feel the need to run harder.

http://www.dailyfork.com/2009/04/the_18_man_vs_food_challenges.php

If you are ever in Boston, try this 12 lb burger. Apparently almost 2,000 people have attempted to finish it and not one has succeeded. No statistics on how many of them experienced a numbness in their arm and tightness in their chest immediately after their attempt.