First Trip to the ER

Well, this is not how I was planning to go about my first post on my pregnancy. But this was just so news worthy and eventful that I could not help myself.
So, we found out that we are going to have a baby November 29th!
We found out at the beginning of April. The first couple weeks were awesome. I had no symptoms and I was gearing up to re-start this blog in the theme of trying to have a healthy pregnancy. Little did I know that I would soon be simply trying to survive pregnancy.
The 24 hours after Easter were spent in a foggy haze of morning sickness. I was throwing up every hour on the hour. I couldn't keep anything down, liquid or solid. Ben was a total champ through this. He even assigned himself to be on bucket duty. No joke, I made a great eternal investment in this guy. I finally called up the doctor and they said I was one of the "lucky" 5% of women who get to take some medication to keep stuff down during pregnancy, but I shouldn't need it once I hit the second trimester. 
The rest of my first trimester was spent taking those magical pills. I still felt nauseous every waking moment, but the most I would throw up in a day was 3 times. Which, considering what I had been through at first, was totally manageable. What's a lot more difficult to work with is just how ridiculous and extreme this is. I used to love looking through the ads and recipe books and planning out weekly menus. Now I could literally not even look through the ads without getting sick. All it would take was accidentally thinking about eating something that my body objected to, and my body would, well, object. Anything that smelled strongly of food or chemicals would do me in. What I could tolerate eating changed by the minute. My plans for a healthy, balanced diet went out the stinkin' window.
I was in Bear Grylls mode.

This was all about doing what I had to do to make it out with me and the baby alive. 
My diet was not healthy that first 3 months, but not terrible either. Mainly it consisted of PBJs and cold cereal. I ended up losing about 10 pounds. Fortunately, I had more than enough weight to spare and it's not a big deal if you end up losing weight in the first trimester. 
Then, a beautiful thing happened.
I started having increasingly longer periods of time where I didn't feel nauseous. I never thought I would be in a position where I would look at my husband during dinner and say, "I like this food. I'm actually enjoying this!" and then both of us would tear up a little in sheer joy. But I swear that really did happen. 
And for a couple weeks this trend continued. I was very happy.
Then yesterday happened. It started out with a headache that would just not relent. I took some non-aspirin Tylenol, to no avail. Then my vision went blurry. Then I puked. I really wanted to sleep. My problem is that our home is getting re-roofed right now. So, from 7am until 4pm they have their music going and it sounds like we're living below a hippo dance club. This is a very difficult environment to sleep in. I called my OB, but he was on vacation, so the on call doc said that it sounded like a virus so I should try to drink as much fluids as I could and get some rest. Ben was concerned about me so he called his mom to come over and check on me. She told me they had a room ready for me in their basement, where I could sleep all I want and holler if I needed anything. 
I love these people.
I went over to my in-laws and slept until Ben came home from work and woke me up. This is when stuff done got weird. I was convinced that my virus was something extremely deadly and contagious and so the police were going to come and burn me and all my stuff so other people wouldn't catch it. I didn't want them to, though because:
A) I'm pregnant and
B) I'm still alive.
I was terrified and I wanted to keep moving so they couldn't find me. I tried to go for a walk but Ben stopped me, saying I was way too sick for that. So, I tried to run away. That didn't fly either. I felt so betrayed that he would force me to stay in a place where they could find me so easily. I just laid there and cried. Then I got up and wrote out in my journal exactly how I want my funeral to go. Then I threw up again. And again. Then I ate. Then I threw up again. Gradually, and after a priesthood blessing, I came out of my confused paranoia. Then I started noticing that I was getting a terrible cramping pain in my lower abdomen. This didn't concern me too much at first, because I've already discovered that pregnancy comes with it's share of random pains. But, as we were trying to go to sleep, and I was still throwing up, the pains got way worse. I couldn't sleep and I had the distinct feeling that something really was very wrong.  We phoned the on call doc again, and he said that I was extremely dehydrated and we needed to get in to the ER immediately before I became a raisin woman. Or something like that.
We dragged my body to the car and rushed over to the ER. When we got there, I let Ben take care of the checking in stuff, because I recognized that my head still wasn't completely on straight. Suddenly, I felt an urge. I knew I had to get to the bathroom immediately or things were about to get ugly. I frantically asked the  receptionist where the bathroom was. Casually, she glanced up and drawled out, "What are you going to use it for."
I blinked at her as I fought back a completely new urge. That to leap over the counter and attack this woman. Then I had to bite back the verbal response of, "Well, I was thinking that I'd mosey on in there and set to decorating the place with toilet paper. It's amazing what you can do with a little ingenuity!"
What the heck did she think I was going to be doing in there?
I went with, "Well, I'm not sure yet. I might throw-up or I might use the restroom."
She took her time handing me a pink bucket and informing me that they'd need a sample. Then she pointed to the little electronic pad on my side of the counter and told me that she needed a signature saying that I consented to treatment. At this point I about gave her the requested sample up close and personal. Only then did she tell me where the bathroom was.
Fortunately, the nurses and doctors in the ER that night were awesome. I truly cannot say enough about how grateful I am for these people and their kindness. The doctor there agreed with the on call OB's diagnosis of dehydration and they set me up with an IV of happiness. They gave me a little bag of strong anti-nausea stuff and two bags of a saline solution. The first bag of saline solution kind of stalled, though, and by the time they noticed and got it going, it was cold and I started shivering uncontrollably. Shivering from the inside out is a completely new experience for me. They warmed up the next bag and it felt much better. From the moment that mixture of happiness started hitting my veins, though, I relaxed and was slipping in and out of sleep for the next 4 hours while they were fixing me. Then they sent me home with orders to be on a clear liquids diet (broth, juice, Gatorade, etc.) until I can ease myself back onto normal foods.
The doctor also did an ultrasound to make certain that the baby was okay. That was a beautiful moment for me. As I watched my little baby trying to do back flips inside of me, I realized that I'm more than willing to go through all of this, and a whole lot more, for the opportunity to be a part of this little spirit's life.
I love this baby.
It's a completely new kind of love. I've always heard all the cliches about a mother's love, but I never have truly understood them.
I think I'm beginning to get it now.
Even now, I would die for this child. But, that doesn't appear to be what I need to do. What I need to do is endure all of this and whatever the next 4 1/2 months hold. And I will do so. Whenever I start to give in to misery and think that this is too hard for me to do, I picture that small child with it's little heart pumping away.
I truly am amazed every time I get to peek inside there and see that my baby is so healthy. It is nothing short of a miracle that I can go through pains and experiences that I never thought possible, and then find out that my baby is completely unharmed and, in fact, thriving.
So, I will do my best for this baby.
Because my child is totally worth this.
And so much more.