Day 57

Calories burned at the gym this morning: 600

Weigh in day! Good news! I weigh exactly the same as I did last Monday! Normally, this would not be good news. But, I spent the first part of last week recovering from being sick and then I went off my diet on Saturday. So, holding at a total loss of 28 pounds ain't too shabby for the week.

I've always loved to dance. I even took some classes when I was little.

The problem is that, as much as I love to dance, I've never been any good at it. I can shake my butt like nobody's business. I wiggle and shake and do whatever feels right, however, it usually doesn't look right. I try not to care what anyone thinks, but most of the moves I bust are kept behind my bedroom door, with the soundtrack being whatever is on Pandora. I have former roommates that can attest to my crazy dance-fests. They look something like this (Minus the drinkin' and smokin'):

In other news, I now look something like this (as of Saturday):

 

Today was the first day back at the gym with Shelayna since her car accident a couple weeks back, and she brought a new friend for us. Her name is Leisa and she is skinny but a little delusional because she thinks she's not and wants to lose weight because she just got engaged. But she's fun to have around, so we'll keep her. 

Day 56

Well, for my mom's birthday yesterday I went off my diet. Cake and ice cream, baby. However, this was a planned diversion from the diet path. Having occasional free days helps me to resist more temptations for the rest of the time. I'm right back on the wagon today.

Today at church I had an experience that can only be described as awkward.


Our stake presidency was there for ward conference. Since I am in a singles ward, there were of course two "M" words as the topics of discussion: Missions and Marriage.

After a brief discussion on the importance of flirting, it was announced that we would now practice. All the boys were asked to go to one side of the aisle of seats, all the girls on the other. The men were then instructed to walk as a row straight across the aisle and stand in front of a girl. Once everyone was in position, it was explained that the boys were going to be attempting to flirt. The girls were to stay sitting and listening until the guy said something that impressed them as a good flirting technique. At that point the woman would stand up. He said that we would go until every girl was standing or we ran out of time. The entire time this was being sorted out, the guy standing in front of me avoided looking at me to an impressive degree. I had never met him before, but I noticed he had on a tie with ducks on it. Right before the flirting was to commence he turned and whispered in a panicked manner to his friend standing next to him, who muttered a few words of encouragement and advice. As the Stake President said, "Go", Duck Tie turned to me and immediately blurted out, "I like your hair." I smiled and thanked him. After a few moments of him looking around the room quietly, he looked back down at me, shrugged and said, "I really don't know..." After gathering that he was not going to finish that sentence or start a new one, I tried to look kind and encouraging as I said, "Well, asking questions is usually a good place to start when you aren't certain." After several seconds of looking up with a pained expression on his face, he looked back at me and, "Do you go to school?" tumbled out of his mouth. I replied that I did and he seemed to relax a small bit as he asked follow up questions to my responses. After a minute of that, I decided to put him out of his misery and I stood up. He let out an audible sigh of relief as he sincerely told me, "Thank you for standing up." I made a couple more attempts at getting a conversation going with him, to no avail. He was looking everywhere but at me, which was quite the accomplishment with how close we had to stand. Finally, I resigned to stand silently. Looking around the room, I was surprised by how many women were still firmly planted in their chairs, while red faced boys made valiant attempts at flattery. My heart went out to all of these brave young men. I certainly would not know what to do had the roles been reversed. Finally and mercifully, the Stake President called for all the guys to return to their seats. As Duck Tie shuffled back from whence he came, without a goodbye, I realized that we'd never even exchanged names. I honestly don't think any less of Duck Tie, though. That was a rough situation to be thrown into.

While I understand the method behind the madness, and know that my stake presidency truly loves and cares about the members of my ward, I must say that I don't think I'm even a half step closer to marriage after today. And I can't speak for Duck Tie, but I wouldn't be too surprised if he's sworn off "flirting" for life.

Day 55

Baby Steph with her beautiful mom and awesome dad.

Forty something years ago yesterday, my mom was born.

I love my mom. She is an amazing person who has overcome more challenges in her life than most people outside of our family will ever know about.

I didn't always feel that way about my mom, though. For almost a decade she and I butted heads almost daily. We were exactly alike in some ways, and exact opposites in others. We would see things that we disliked about ourselves in the other and then there were other things that we would just not understand at all about each other. I used to think that there would never be a time when my mom and I would get along. 

Then I moved out.

It was an amazing transformation. Without all of the small day to day confrontations, my mom and I started to get along. 

The real change came when I moved over to Denver, Colorado to nanny. I had moved away from home before then, but the furthest had been 200 miles. Denver is over 500 miles away from home. At first everything was going very well while I was there nannying. I still missed my mom, but when we talked on the phone it was more like talking to a very close friend. Then things started turning sour with the family I was working for. I no longer felt very welcome in their family and I really missed my own family. My mom quickly reserved a condo in the mountains close to Denver and began to make flight plans to come visit me for a week. A week before my mom was coming out to visit me, the family I was with decided we weren't a good match and gave my my two weeks. As I called my mom in tears to tell her, she comforted me and told me that she would make the 8 hour drive there by herself, spend the weekend with me at the condo as planned, and then spend the rest of the week by herself at the condo, which was too far away from me to visit on a daily basis. She said she would do that so that she could make the drive back home with me as I moved out at the end of that week.That weekend with my mom was wonderful. We just hung out, ate junk food, watched movies, and shopped in some of the ski towns in the area.

 At the end of the weekend when I was going back to nanny for my last week, I realized that my mom was seriously my friend now, too. The family that I was working for said that they really wanted to meet my mom. At their insistence, I arranged for my mom to come and meet them and spend some time with us one day that week. I expected them to give her the same warm and open reception I had received when I first arrived. I was horrified when my sweet mom came into their home and there was no warm reception whatsoever. She was left to sit by herself on the couch for an hour while I took care of the kids, and their mother took care of what could only be gravely pressing matters around the house. Like, you know, dishes and stuff. There was no attempt to show interest in this amazing woman who raised me. My mom took me to lunch that day, and as we left I had to fight back tears. It had taken someone else showing such disrespect to my mother for me to realize how much I do respect her and how highly I esteem her. As we were heading back to my job after lunch, I finally did begin to cry as I told my mom that I wanted to quit right then and tell them exactly how disgusted I was with their treatment of my mother. My mom admitted that she was very surprised by the reception she was greeted with. But her true character showed when she told me that she expected me to stay out the week with them, because I had made a verbal agreement to do so, and I would honor that. While there has always been some part of me that has regretted not sticking up for my mom in that situation, I do feel that staying out my agreed time there was my own way of honoring the way that my mom raised me.

My mom is an incredible person. I look up to her more than I could find a way to say. Actually, that's why this post is a day late. I've spent the last 3 days trying to figure out how to put my mom into words. I finally decided that story attests more to her Christ-like love than any of my plain and inadequate words ever could. But I want to try and help you to get to know a little bit more about one of the greatest gifts my Heavenly Father has ever given me.

My mom is an adventurer. She loves skiing and learned how to do so by following her brothers off the beaten slopes when she was young. As long as I can remember, she's had a big jar that she's put all of her spare dimes into. When the jar is full, she cashes them in to get a season ski pass. She can't do the crazy moguls and stuff that she used to anymore, but she loves to take my 3 year old cousin on the slopes whenever she can. 

She loves to be on the go. Recently, my parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary by taking a trip to Hawaii. Most people would spend that vacation quietly relaxing on the beach, soaking up the sun, and slowly perusing the main tourist stops. Not my mom. She spent the trip taking ambitious hikes up incredible mountains and speed walking from one destination to another. 

She loves little kids, especially babies. I have seen her walk up to strangers and start talking to them just so she can play with their baby. The kids across the street think of her as family. She works as an aide during the school day at the same elementary school that I work at after school. 

She is an example to me, and many others, spiritually. Before I turned 18, my mom and I would go to church together every week. Now that I've moved on to a singles ward, my mom goes by herself to the family ward every single week. I know that this is not easy for her. In fact, at times it is very difficult. But she has found a way to make a positive out of things. She looks around for opportunities to serve. She'll find mothers with young children who are also there alone and go over to help them during sacrament meeting.

She loves my dad. When I was growing up, my parents each had their own recliner in the front room. Then, about 5 years ago, I came home to find the recliners exchanged for one reclining love seat. When I asked them why they made the change, they told me it was because they felt too far apart in the recliners.  

She is daring. She went parasailing behind a boat in Acapulco. She was the one to get me putting my hands up on roller-coasters when I still had to stand on my tip-toes to be tall enough to ride on them.

She is ambitious. When you are hiking with her, don't plan on a leisurely stroll, at least not with her by your side. She'll meet you at the top of the mountain,or wherever the hike ends. 

I could write a whole book just about my mom. I got many of my greatest strengths from her. I am so very proud to say that she is my mom.

Happy birthday, mom. I really do love you.

Thank you.

Day 54

Calories burned this morning: 415

Have you ever had one of those days when things just work out? That was today.

I did some yoga and meditation this morning. I never really thought of myself as a yoga kind of girl. That is probably because I'm not. My muscles are incredibly tight right now and I am not flexible at all. I finally found a program that has some stuff that is beginner enough for me. Of course, they have to say (seriously, this is an exact quote form the video), "This is an ultra altered version of this position." And yet, in that ultra altered position I still was struggling to straighten my legs. It burned to the point where my eyes watered. But I still did it, because I know it will be good for me in the long run. I also did some yoga breathing exercises. I know it sounds hokey, but breathing exercises are fantastic. Sometimes I do one really simple one with the kindergarteners that I work with to help them calm down and focus, and they love it. All you do is sit up straight and put the palms of your hands on your stomach. Then take ten very deep and slow breaths through the nose, putting down one finger every time you breathe. Try it right now. Really. It's even better if you can close you eyes and concentrate completely on you breathing for just the amount of time it takes you to do the ten deep breaths. If you like that, then look up other yoga meditation and breathing exercises. They help me to relax and be in a better mood.

Of course, if that kind of yoga isn't for you, there is always laughing yoga. It makes everyone happy.

It is really hard not to laugh with (at) that guy.

Now, assuming you are in the Rockies, I'm going to wish you a happy snowed in weekend. Enjoy it! Netflix it up. If you are anywhere else, I hope you have an awesome time as well. Just don't get too jealous of the twenty thousand and a half feet of snow we're working on, and I won't get too jealous of your tan.

Day 53

Calories burned at the gym/ shoveling today: 728

I stopped by Borders today to see if there were any super deals. There weren't many. But I did find a decent price on couple of cook books that I am excited to try out. I also encountered a book titled I Love Him. He Loves Her. My first thought was, "I was never notified that there was a biography written about me." I almost got it, but then I thought, "Why?" I mean, seriously. I've lived that book so many dang times and am currently working on it once more. What can I say? I have an absolutely incredible knack for picking them. Guys who want to fall head over heels need only assure that I fall for them first. They will then immediately find somebody else that they feel a fervent desire to go after for reasons even they don't fully understand. It's a gift, really. Possibly a super-power. I need to contact someone about a super-hero costume.

I was reminded today of part of the reason that I am chasing down this goal. I must confess that it is part vanity. My friend finally posted some pictures that have been held captive in her camera since November. Among those pictures was this little gem:

"Oh, yay! It's a birthday party! I just love bir... Oh. My. Gosh. What is that in the
 background?! Kill it with fire!!!!!!!"

Indeed, friends. That may be the most unflattering picture ever taken of me. Ever. While initially appalled, I soon switched to proud. I am now proud because I wore that green sweater just a few days ago. It is now baggy on me. I also know that the dreaded double chin is certainly in the process of shrinking. That is why I am posting that awful picture on the largest possible setting my blog offers. As proud as I am of the changes I have made from when this picture was taken to now, I know that the change will only become increasingly obvious from here. Although I am joking about this, as I look at this picture, there is a stab in my chest and my eyes are stinging and threatening tears enough that I have to look away. I don't really have the words ready to describe my feelings right now and the reasons behind them. As I have said before, this whole experience is an incredibly emotional one for me. With all that I air out on this blog, there are many intensely personal struggles that I am going through on my own. Someday I may feel comfortable enough to share them.

On a much different and lighter note, I want to share one of my favorite musical discoveries of the past couple years. There is a band (Well, mainly one guy and then his buddies here and there) called Boyce Avenue that have become famous by covering popular songs on YouTube. I love them because they take songs that I don't really like and turn them into songs that I love. Here are some of my favorites:

They've got quite a few of them, so if you like what you've heard, look them up!

Day 52

Calories burned at the gym today: 669

Anyone who has spent any real amount of time around me knows that I embarrass very easily. I recently shared one embarrassing moment, but the sad fact is that there are plenty more where that came from. I dread the question, "What was your most embarrassing moment?" Not because I don't get embarrassed, but because it happens so often that I've gotten used to shrugging them all off.

However, for tonight's post I have dug deep and come up with a few things that have managed to make me blush over the years.

I'll first tell you about the time I became conscious of how easily my face turns red. Travel with me back to my 7th grade biology class.

I was sitting next to my crush. I was going through a bit of a bad boy phase. The teacher was reading out of the textbook. Every time she would come to the word "organism", my crush would would mutter a word that sounds similar, but has a completely different definition. As almost any 7th grade girl would, I felt really uncomfortable, but I didn't think it was terribly obvious. That belief was forever shattered when the teacher stopped class to snap my crush's name followed by, "If you make Stephanie blush one more time, you are going to be in big trouble!" I literally sank down in my seat until just my head was visible above my desk. By then I could actually feel how hot my face was turning.

Let's go a bit further back. When I was in 5th grade my family took a vacation down to Florida. While there we hit all the standard destinations. One day we went to Sea World. Being a 5th grade girl, I was psyched about getting into every single "splash zone" that I could. Unfortunately, Sea World is a big place that requires a lot of walking. This caused my jeans to rub my skin on my thighs right off. I was in serious pain. By the time that evening came around I was in tears. We had a luau reserved for that night and our hotel was way too far to go there and back before the luau. After an incredible amount of persuasion, my mom got me to agree to wearing an over-sized Sea World t-shirt that she bought and then just take my pants off. She assured me that no one would notice and everyone would just assume that I was wearing short shorts underneath it. I figured that once we got to the luau I would just be sitting down at a table the whole time anyway, so it shouldn't be too bad. And that i exactly how it went. Until they went around and picked people to come up on stage with the hula dancers and learn how to "shake it". I've never feared the lime light, and any other time this would sound like a lot of fun to me. But this was not some other time. This time I just wanted to stay calmly sitting in the audience. But then a cute Polynesian dude walked up to me and grabbed my arm. I initially shook my head no, but my dad was already popping the lens cap off of the video camera and my mom was waving me on. So I went. On stage. With no pants. To shake my butt in front of a room filled with people. All these years, my only comfort has been the thought that I will never see any of those people ever again. But don't you worry, because my dad got it all on film. Note how conscious I am of my shirt. Note the announcer instructing us "Hands in the air! Bend your knees... shake it..." Note my little brother's voice mocking me for having to go on stage right before the video ends. Try not to note the socks and sandals.

Fortunately, the video was taken at an angle that didn't give me away too badly. I fear that people at different angles had a rather less innocent view. 

Now let's travel to a much more recent time. This past summer I took a trip to Washington DC. The people I went with and I decided we should use public transport while there to save money. I didn't want to seem like somebody that could be kidnapped, raped, and/or mugged, so I made an effort to look confident in all that I did. So, when the bus pulled up I confidently stepped on and began scoping out a seat. All of the sudden I hear my travel companions call out my name. I turn around to see an aghast bus driver. I couldn't figure out what was wrong for the life of me. Then the guys I was with explained that they had the money to pay for all of us and put it in the box. 

Oh.

Flustered, I attempted to explain that where I am from the buses are free. That sent the whole bus into riotous laughter. People actually repeated what I said out loud incredulously. One of them called out, "Jus' where the **** you from, girl!" I muttered Utah and that got a new round of laughs. Scarlet faced, I shuffled to the back of the bus, and eventually the laughter died down. Then my travel mates took this picture of me:

So much for confidence.

Then there are the thousands of times that smaller things have happened, like today when I looked down at work and realized my fly was down and I was wearing skin colored undies. Heaven only knows how long that was going on. 

The key to remaining humble is to constantly stay humiliated. The most important part, though, is something that my dad has instilled in me since I was very small: Don't be afraid to be the first and last one laughing at yourself. 

And get a thicker foundation if you wear makeup and slather it on. This should help to dim your glow a bit.

Day 51

Calories burned at the GYM today: 580

That's right! I was back in action at the gym today! I did H***'s Gazelles, some abs, and then I spent a few minutes on the new legit stair-masters that they have. Well, kind of legit. The movement on them definitely resembles walking up the stairs, but they have elliptical-like things to put your feet on and then you just move your feet in a stair motion. The the real work comes in controlling your leg, though. When you have it on higher resistance, you have plenty of time to tell your leg to stop and move backwards at the appropriate time. If you just go crazy fast on no resistance, though, it does not stop on it's own before smacking the front of the machine loud enough to draw the attention of every fellow gym-goer within a 50 yard radius. In order to avoid this, you must exercise an incredible amount of control in your legs to change momentum mid-stride. I'm still not sure if the higher or lower resistance is more work.

People have always told me that life begins after high school. Up until my life began after high school, I never believed them. That girl seems like an old friend now. I just feel so distanced, even though she's only 5 years gone. I thought I'd take some time to remember that girl.

She was obsessed with boys. As I read back on what little journal writing she did during those years, it is absurd how many of those entries are about the flavor of the year.

She did not get along with her mom, at all. Fortunately, some things change.

She was a headstrong little spitfire of a flash of lightning.

She had very short hair.

She was fiercely religious. Seminary was her favorite class period. Young Women's was her favorite part of the week. A lot of this was due to her then-recent activation in church. She still had so much to learn about even the basics, and she soaked it all up like a dry sponge. I miss that fervor sometimes.

She hated math.

She loved acting, but experienced a lot more pain than she ever let on at the fact that she never clicked with the other kids in drama. She even ended up on the Thespian Council her Senior year, but she was never accepted or taken seriously by the others, so for once in her life she learned how to blend into the background and not be noticed. On one drama trip she sat alone in the front of the bus and quietly cried while the rest of the kids partied in the back without her. She never told anyone about that. Months later a group of people who had been on the trip were reminiscing. As soon as she tried to contribute, a girl cut her off and said, "Wait, you were on that trip? Wow. I can't believe I don't remember you being there at all."

For how beautiful she was, even considering the awkward puberty stages, she worried way more about her weight and body than she should have. She believed she was ugly. In short, she was a teenage girl.

She had the best friends she could have ever asked for to get her through high school. They were a bunch of kids with similar standards who got together every single weekend to watch movies and occasionally leave a saran-wrapped person on a doorstep. That group worked together to get everyone laughing through every hard time that high school could throw at them.

Her closest friend was Tressa. Fortunately, some things don't change.

When with her friends, she loved having the position of the loud, funny, hyper girl.

She was convinced that it was her destiny to be married and birthing children by the end of age 18. Thank all that is good that she was so wrong about this one.

She inherited her parents' '97 Pontiac Grand Prix and loved driving it around at every single given opportunity.

She was a major fan of Lord of the Rings. The movies, not the books. She had (has) all of the extended editions and watched all of the commentary and extra features. She was in love with Billy Boyd (Pippin) because he was the one she could relate to the most. She let one of her friends talk her into super gluing the tops of her ears together into points, like hobbits. For a roadshow at church one time they needed a Frodo. She was the obvious choice and was over-joyed at the opportunity to tape yarn to her bare feet, wear a brown curly wig, and talk in a terrible accent. In short, she was one of the cool kids. Definitely.

Folks, I couldn't make this crap up.
This is an actual journal entry I just flipped back to.
I was one sick case.

She graduated from high school having never been kissed. (After what you just learned about her, go figure, eh?)

She hated math and she was horrible at it.

She had a great passion for English and developed a deep and lasting appreciation of poetry and Shakespeare. The intricate mechanics of the language have always been more of a struggle.

Her Senior year she took a service trip with a club down to Mexico to build a house and put in electricity and plumbing. This trip was one of the best decisions she ever made in her life and had a profound impact on her.

The only thing I really miss about high school is having all of my friends so accessible. There were a whole lot of lows during those four years, outside of my social life. But, for all of that, I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. They gave me so much wisdom and experience to build upon. 

So, here's to you High School Steph. Overall, you were a pretty awesome kid. Put away your angst and look around you every once in awhile. Life is awesome. 

And you are really beautiful.

My Skin

This is my skin that you see.

It is dark and rough as cork,

And light and soft as porcelain.

It is oily and zit ridden

And dry and cracked.

It is scarred in places

Where the world has cut in.

It is perfect in spots

I have saved from harm.

My skin is what you see,

But don't be distracted by

All that is on view.

Under all this skin 

There is a heart, a mind

A soul. Within is love,

Hate, jealousy, and sympathy.

There is a core that is strong,

Solid, immovable, and walled.

My skin is what you can see,

But don't be distracted

By the poor wrapping job

Or you will never really see me.

Written By Me 

February 2006

Day 50

Weigh in day! Great news! I am down 4 more pounds from last week! That makes for a grand total of 28 pounds! Basically, I've lost the equivalent of one hefty toddler. Anyone who has ever carried around a toddler for long enough knows that you certainly notice when you set them down.

That being said, I'm not getting too attached to those last few pounds I've lost. Unfortunately, I lost them while I was sick and not exercising. It is likely that some of that weight is lost muscle. If I end up with a small gain this week, I'm not going to bash my head against the wall over it.

Buuut, I am sure looking forward to being able to say that I have lost 30 lbs. That is enough for those weight loss commercials that are constantly lying to people! Sweet!

Today I remembered that once upon a time I had a different blog. I never quite knew what to write about on that one and eventually just let it die in shame. However I did write one post nearly two years ago that I felt pretty good about.

So, it is with apologies to those of you who read my old blog, that I am reposting the contents of that post. Because it is still oh so applicable in my life:

 I think finding love can be compared to finding a perfect pair of pants.

http://www.boneshakerclothing.com/faq.html

 For some girls this is not hard at all. Some girls can walk into a store, and after eliminating all the ones that are the wrong size, or in other words just totally wrong for her, she can grab any style and it will work. Jolly good for her. Some girls just luck out and happen upon the perfect pair right after starting to shop. Cheers to them. Then there are us girls who spend a very long amount of time and ridiculous amounts of energy and resources trying to find a pair that are comfortable and make you feel good about yourself and that you just want to wear everyday. During this search it is very hard to talk yourself out of getting pants that almost fit. Maybe they're just a little snug around the waist. Maybe they're a little roomier than you'd prefer, but after all this shopping you just decide, screw it, the ones I really want don't exist, I'll just get these ones.

http://myerraticfashiontaste.blogspot.com/2010/11/
denim-ism-jeans-faux-pas.html

 But you just can't ever be completely happy wearing these pants. They are not comfortable, and the longer you wear them, the more they dig into you, or refuse to flatter you. Pretty soon you begin to resent the pants. It's their fault they aren't what you want them to be! But it was never completely the pants fault. Ya, maybe if they were a little more flexible it would be easier, but you knew what they were when you bought them.I don't want to settle for uncomfortable pants. Even though I'm lonely, and I would really love nothing more than to feel loved, it's just not worth it to me. So I will keep trying on pants, trying to find a pair that are everything I need, and maybe even several things I want.

http://www.funny-wedding-ideas.com/engagement-photo-ideas.html

And I will keep doing so until something changes. Because I know now that things can and will change.

I can feel it.

Since I wrote that post, several things have changed in my life. I am no longer so desperate and needy, for one thing. I've also "tried on" more pairs of pants. Obviously, none of them were the right fit. In fact, I'm fairly certain that one of the pairs of pants were lined with razor blades and sprinkled with lemon zest. You can imagine how well that went. 


With all that's changed, the basic idea is still the same. 


I love pants, but apparently I have a very difficult body type to flatter. 


Fortunately, I also love to shop. 

Day 49

Still sick, but getting better.

We're not going to talk about my health, though, because I'm sure you guys are sick of all that jazz.

Today we're going to talk about my former life as a front desk clerk at the Anniversary Inn.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Anniversary Inn, it is a small chain of hotels that have themed rooms. As intriguing as that may sound, they stay away from the kinky.

http://inventorspot.com/articles/10_romantic_getaway_destinations
_most_unique_themed_hotels_aroun_37835?page=3

Not a room available at the Anniversary Inn

They tend more towards, fun, beautiful, romantic, and classy. 

http://www.anniversaryinn.com/logan/room/7-arabian-nights

My favorite room, Arabian Nights

Okay, well there are a few that are just bizarre.

http://www.anniversaryinn.com/logan/room/19-lost-in-space

The Lost in Space room. Always the last reserved.
Always reserved by crazies.

Overall, it is a pretty upscale hotel. The most expensive rooms go for $300 a night. With optional flowers and in room massages, I booked more than one reservation that went over $500 for a single night. It just happens to be a high end bed and breakfast that caters toward couples who are interested in, well, being very coupley.

When I first got this job, I was still 18 years old. I had a friend in my ward who worked there and said she could set me up with a job. I honestly just needed a job and didn't give much thought as to why every customer went there. Even after I got the job I didn't really think about it for awhile. After I did really think that aspect over, I just tried to ignore it. I was pretty dang good at ignoring the fact that everyone was going there to get busy. I just smiled and checked people in. When I had to deliver breakfast trays in the morning, I would just set the food on the tray, knock, and then haul butt out of there. However, there were times when I could not ignore it. There is one room that is directly above the front desk. Whenever guests checked into that room I would try to turn the music in the lobby up to the loudest comfortable level. If there was someone else working with me, I would try to keep a steady conversation going. On Sundays, I'd sing hymns. Really, I did just about anything to avoid hearing what was happening above my head.

There was one room with an old west theme that had a real moose's head mounted above a fireplace. It was directly facing the bed and there were a lot of times when guests would leave and we'd find the decorative cowboy hat or a blanket covering the moose's eyes. It always kind of freaked me out, too. Then one night I got a call to the front desk from that room. They said that they had accidentally knocked the moose off of the wall. I had no idea what to do, but they said that they wanted it out of the room, so I figured that I'd go and haul it into storage for the night. Now is when it is crucial that you understand that the Anniversary Inn of Logan is actually made up of several different renovated buildings in one big area. The moose room has its own building. As I headed out of the building with the lobby and came up the dark path to the moose room, I suddenly saw something staring at me in the bushes. After nearly wetting myself, I realized it was the moose! The guests had dragged it out of the room and put the dang thing in the bushes. So, I dragged the fat head into  storage and that was pretty much the end of my time with the moose.

My most humiliating moment at the Inn occurred on a different night. At the front desk we sold these bath fizzy things, called bath bombs or bath balls.

http://www.thelavenderpigblog.com/category/bath-fizzy/

They fizz up in the tub and make your skin feel soft and smell good. Anywho, one night there was a couple who bought a few bath bombs at check-in. They called the front desk awhile later raving about how much they loved them and asking me to bring them five more. I threw five of them into a bag and then made my way outside and over to their building. The man answered the door in one of our complimentary "one-size-fits-all" robes. The thing is, one size did not fit this guy. In fact it left him exposed in a rather extremely unfortunate area. Averting my gaze up at neck breaking speed, before I could really see anything, I extended the bag with the requested fizzies inside to the guest as I blurted out, "Here're your balls." He quickly started laughing as I realized what I had said and tried to mutter out something more appropriate before turning beet red, panicking, and running away, his laughter echoing behind me. Not my smoothest moment in customer service.

Still, all and all, I escaped rather unscathed. Most employees walk away with several "naked" and super awkward stories. I was employed there two separate times, for a total of over two years, and I only have a handful of awkward stories.

Of course, I would have plenty more stories if I weren't so willfully oblivious to the world around me. But, I believe that in this instance, ignorance truly is bliss.

Day 48

Woke up this morning and my cold had taken a very significant turn for the worse. I'm seriously medicated right now, so I don't really trust myself to type much. I'm going to take a sick day. Instead I will share a couple of videos that Shelayna posted on her blog. I'd heard the first one before, but not the second one.

The second made me laugh hard enough to trigger a coughing fit that almost killed me. That is some seriously funny stuff. 

Day 47

Calories burned this morning: 249

I took it slow with the exercising today because I'm still recovering from the dreaded gunk-a-palooza that has been afflicting me.

So, I had just finished writing that sentence when I was informed that my parents had a couple extra tickets to Brian Regan tonight. This was the second time I've seen him live. The first time was in about the 3rd row and center, because my friend and I had connections at the theater. This time the tickets were literally 3 rows from the back in the balcony. I laugh harder when I can see his face, but he is funny enough that my stomach still hurt from laughing when the show ended this time, too. I tried calling some friends to come with me, but no one I called picked up, so we gave the ticket to my uncle Dave.

Tangent: My uncle Dave is my dad's brother. He's lived in the same town as my family my whole life, so I've got a good deal of memories with him and his family. He is responsible for my first real memory. I was 4 years old and my parents and I were moving out of our apartment and into a house. As the curious an social kid that I was, I'm certain I ended up in the way a whole lot. At some point my uncle took a break from moving furniture to sit down on the floor with me and ask for my help pulling playing cards out of the radiator. I couldn't find any, but could not believe it when he seemed to find hundreds of them stuck back there. It was then that I realized my uncle Dave is magic.

He was also one of my favorite friends, because he would do just about anything my crazy toddler mind could come up with.

Our families did a fair bit of camping together. We even did a bit of back packing. A lot has changed over the two decades since that video was made, but one thing hasn't: I still think my uncle Dave is a pretty cool guy. Even if he has grown a Santa-esque beard. 

Anywho, the Brian Regan show was, of course, hilarious and I still can't believe my luck to be able to go.

Other than that spectacular surprise, the highlight of my day was spending a few hours visiting my friend, Tasha, her husband Michael (briefly as he ran to work) and their two dogs, Butch and Penny. Tasha is a friend that I've had back through high school, and she deserves a whole post of her own. Butch is a super lovable pit bull/ lab mix that I happily dog sit whenever I am given the chance. He and I are buddies.

Butch giving Tasha her arm workout for the day

Tasha works with Four Paws and is usually fostering a dog with Butch. Right now they are fostering Penny, who is a pointer mix of some kind. My view of Penny for most of my stay looked something like this:

That is because Penny is a big fan of love. If you give her a small rub behind the ear, she'll pin you down on the couch and cuddle for hours. 

This was not staged. Penny joyfully blocked any attempts
I made to get up. So I caved and just scratched her noggin.

Fortunately, I really love dogs. But Penny is so sweet that she is really hard not to love. If you know someone who would like a cuddle buddy and possible great bird dog, let me know. We all want to see Penny in a permanent, loving home.

Day 46

I am sick. I skipped the workout today and am just not eating as much. This is not hard because I am not hungry.

I woke up after a full night's sleep, feeling like I hadn't slept at all and I have a gunky cold.

While there are many obvious downsides to this, there are two things that make it not as awful. The first thing is that it happened on a day where I don't work so I can just lie around, drifting in and out of sleep for the majority of the day. The second upside is that I discovered a Buffy marathon on tv.

Really, though, I should have seen this coming. Without fail, my body has its own way of warning me that I'm getting sick before any real symptoms show. I lose my clarity of thought, certain social inhibitions, and some control over my emotions. I could tell yesterday that something was off. There were many little things, but the most notable was during work yesterday there were some incidents involving disrespectful and inappropriate behavior towards a guest and I actually laughed. Normally, these were not things that I'd laugh at, inside or out. I was pretty frustrated with myself. When I got home I cried for no reason. It was also obvious to anyone who read my post yesterday that I could not think clearly enough to come up with anything to write about. Am I really the only one who goes all Jekyll and Hyde when I'm getting sick?

http://www.taryncoxthewife.com/?p=4537

Unfortunately, my head is still in a big, fat fog, so I really am struggling to come up with anything else to write. Don't touch that dial, though, because I promise to be back to our regularly scheduled semi-witty rambling posts as soon as I shake this funk.

Sorry about the whine-fest. Somebody build a big-a snowman in my honor, eh?

Day 45

Calories burned at the gym today: 648

I've been trying to mix things up a bit lately with my workouts, because I hear that helps to recharge weight loss. So this week I've exchanged a couple of gym days for home workout videos. Yesterday I tried kick-boxing. I've never tried it before, but I have to say that I like it. I'll be Buffy in no time. Well, probably not. I know from a self-defense course I took awhile back that I am practically incapable of put my all into a punch. I pull it every single time. My instructor started laughing at me because I never even punched full strength on the punching bag. I would try and try, but I just didn't have it in me. That's actually part of why I took a self-defense course. I have a nice streak a mile wide, which is a good thing except in a situation where I would have to defend myself. After a lot of work, I do feel more confident now, but I'm still not certain what my initial reaction would be in a situation requiring physical defense. Hopefully, I never know. That'd be just fine by me. Really.

So... I have no idea what to type today. But I want to make ya'll smile. Here are some comics that made me smile. If you have a better idea, please post it. I would absolutely love some input on what you would like to see. Yes, you. Seriously. Read the comments and then post.

Thank you in advance, kind blog-patrons.

























If you want more, some guy thought it would be interesting to take Garfield and Odie out of the Garfield comics. With just Jon in them, it turns into more of a hilariously sad story of a schizophrenic, lonely, bachelor. Go to garfieldminusgarfield.net for that awesomeness.

But seriously.

If you give me ideas of what you would like to see, I will be your friend. If I'm already your friend, I will become your closer friend. If that's creepy... I'll give you a candy bar or some price equivalent snack of your choosing. Yes, really.

Day 44

Calories burned kick-boxing today (Indeed, that does say kick-boxing. I plan on going into more detail some other time. Too tired tonight.): 502

I love my job.

 I work at an elementary school and help kids out after school. I spend an hour helping kindergarteners with their homework, and then the rest of the time with all ages of kids doing fun activities. Due to some laws, I'm not allowed to tell you any specifics, however, I will say that some days are like this:

Do-Re-Mi
The Sound of Music at MOVIECLIPS.com

While other days are like this:

Shut Up!
Kindergarten Cop at MOVIECLIPS.com

While I've never gone all Schwarzenegger on any of the kids, there have most certainly been moments when I have to put myself in time out to take 2, or 3, or 50 deep breaths before I open my mouth again to the kids.

That being said, it is by far my favorite job that I have ever had in my life. I live for those Julie Andrews moments when the young'ns are doing what they are supposed to be doing, or at least really trying. For every time that I have to take a few deep breaths to cool down the fire in my head, there are fifty times when I have to take a moment to make sure I'm not laughing as I try to discipline and correct them. I honestly look forward to going to work 99% of the time.

In talking about how much I love my work, I cannot over-state how much of that is because of my stellar co-workers. I work with a bunch of amazing, kind, talented people that make me laugh every single day. Okay, so making me laugh is not the most difficult challenge posed to anyone, but still! They are some awesome dudes and dudettes. They feel like a group of friends that I would choose to hang out with, even if I wasn't forced to see them every day. We have a 5 day weekend coming up, and as stupid as it sounds, I'm not looking forward to it. Well, okay, I'm looking forward to afternoon naps and finishing some projects that have been begging for my attention since Christmas, but I am honestly going to miss my friends at work, not to mention the kids.

So, my incredible co-workers (friends), this one goes out to you guys. Sorry to get all cornball on you, but thanks for making my life so much more stellar than it would be working somewhere else.